Epic bookmoviefailcakes

Scary, isn't it?

I stayed at Aella's for New Year's Eve... and New Year's Day... and most of the day after that, actually... aanyways, on January 1st, 2009 (still getting used to the whole '09 thing):

Me: *is on computer... blogging or something*
Aella: "Oooh, I know what we should do!" *pulls out Stormbreaker DVD*
Me: "Isn't that....as in...--"
Aella: "The Alex Rider series, yes"
Me: "Hmmm..." *looks at cover...* "Okay"
[note: Alex Pettyfer is on the cover.]

Unsurprisingly, there were some (well, quite a few) moments where Aella and I just had to say, with puzzled expressions, "What?" and pause and rewind to see it again. We also did it because some of those fight scenes look incredibly funny (and awkward) backwards.

Some of those moments:
  • Ian Rider's car (super spy BMW) has a license plate with R1D3R on it. Yeah sure, Agent 00Fail, I'm sure no one will notice that it's your last name.
  • Alex Rider teleporting back to get his bike and then chasing down a creepy white van. During the chase, every cliche thing you can do with a bike (like sliding under things all dramatic-like) happens. And then once he gets to the junkyard where they've taken his uncle's things (including his BMW) he crouches behind his bike as though it's going to hide him from the scary junkyard workers as he follows the van.
  • The junkyard workers ambush him and they're all scary men with shaved heads wiping old car parts with rags. Every single one.
  • Alan Blunt (see above picture) randomly, suddenly, and disturbingly popping up when you least expect it and making weird dramatic hand gestures.
  • Alex is inside the Stormbreaker computer (when they don't know he's a secret agent or anything, mind you) and strikes up a random conversation with a scary Swedish woman. "My father was murdered, and I'm going to find out who killed him" She responds, "Not today you won't."
And this isn't even all of it. If you ever have nothing to do and just want to laugh at the awfulness of a movie, watch Stormbreaker. It just takes it past awful and into hilarious. Especially because Alex Pettyfer only got the role for his looks, not his acting ability.

Hugging her copy of The Dark Knight,



Khy said...

Now I want to watch this movie just to mock it.

And I keep wanting to call that Alex guy Alex Pettyfeather. xD

Anonymous said...

Laughably bad movies are my favorite kind. *hugs copy of Godzilla vs. Mothra*

Medeia said...

Mocking laughably bad movies is great fun. Oooh. Especially when you get to do it in class *remembers when we watched Clash of the Titans in Mythology* Now, that is a bad movie.

Anonymous said...

Ha, we watched the 1995 version of The Scarlet Letter in English class and then had an essay on how horrible it was. I got a 96.

...and am right now procrastinating writing yet another Scarlet Letter essay...ugh...